I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
