I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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