She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
