I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
