Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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