Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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