My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
