I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He felt like a one man threesome
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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