Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How does one acquire holy water?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
