Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
