you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
