You surviving the open bar?
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Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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