It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
