it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
