the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
