i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
It was confusing and full of hummus
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
