What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
