its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You pole danced in your parka.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
