can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
As shirtless as possible
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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