I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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