Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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