Already got asked if we're dating
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
