Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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