And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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