I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
