i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
