there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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