The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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