so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
