is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
