do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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