i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
