He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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