soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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