yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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