I want to walk on stilts...naked
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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