why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Pants are for mortals
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
