ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
