I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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