I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
