She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
