If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
