I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
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