I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
