At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
