you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
that may or may not have been my penis.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
