How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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