i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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