theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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