Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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